Granny-gram

When the phone started ringing I considered just putting it down twice, I momentarily scolded myself for being such a yellow bellied heffer but was interrupted half way through my private monolog when my mom answered the phone.
She seemed happy
She was at home
So I asked her not to get angry but…at this point I started crying and my efforts of trying to hide the matter only made me sound like an asthmatic vacuum cleaner.
How my mother made out the rambled and rushed “I’m pregnant” that followed I will never know but she did.
I suspect at this point the vain in her neck ruptured and impeded her ability to keep an even tone of voice somewhat, as she asked me how this happened and was I quite aware that this is horrible timing and so on and so forth.
Mom then went on to tell me to see a doctor, kak me out about my weight, lament about the fact that I had to stop smoking and impress upon me the urgency of getting myself of the medical aid waiting period.

I kept asking if she was cross she kept replying that she wasn’t in that raised tone of voice that I seem to remember preceded a the mother of all hidings.
So one can forgive me for being slightly skeptical.
After telling me that I was over weight once or twice more and kaking on me about other random shit she said she loved me and said good bye.
I was sure that she would accept it sooner or later but the fact that it wasn’t now drove me to tears AGAIN.
It only drove me to tears up to Marlboro of ramp when I decided to call my other pillar and rock, my little sister.
Crystal also found herself unable to control her tone of voice and spent five excruciated minutes squealing squeaking and screaming in my ear.
I have the sneaky suspicion that she is ecstatic about the matter and so asked her to call mom and find out if she was really okay with this.
She made glass shattering noises for another five minutes, then left me to wonder what would become of my child if left in that perpetual noise for nine months.

Latter I received an sms from my mom that said:
“This was as much a shock for me as it was for you. The excitement and happiness will still come. Give me time to get used to the idea.
I must in and colour my hair.
Love you both, sorry three. Hopefully not four”

So all things considered it turned out okay I think she still loves me.
Baby must be happ .