Reset, Restart, Reload

During my short stint as a PC gamer I developed a handy sense for when a mission has gone so far wrong it’s beyond salvation. I learnt to cut my loses instead of forging ahead to an almost certain defeat.
Today is not shaping up to be a good day, I would wager that it may turn out to be an even more dismal day then yesterday.
Today I find myself reflecting on the fact that life like those games has reached a point where the mission should be aborted, the outcome is almost certainly hopeless and despite my best efforts I am drowning.
Unfortunately in real life the reset button is the off button and you don’t get to try again later.
I was short paid this last month and I fear the same outcome at the end of the month.
The house is costing us a fortune and people owe us money.
My medical aid may not cover my pregnancy and there is no way of knowing whether they will without my condition being diagnosed.
We can’t do that because we have no money.
Nedbank wants to sue me Nashua mobile wants to sue me Im behind on my car payment and my loan payment.
My car needs services my tires have no tread on them my rims are bent and I have no breaks.
I have fines to pay, and a child to prepare for.
People are pressuring me to get married, I don’t have enough clients.
I desperately want to see my baby just to make sure that all this is real but I cant afford the scan, Im playing a guessing game about stuff I know nothing about.
I want to crawl into a hole and never come out again.
Eugene is so good about trying to keep me from stressing but I know hes worried so Im more worried because I am helpless.